Mark Twain (1835-1910) quotes

 

  • A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
  • A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
  • A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
  • A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
  • Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
  • Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
  • Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
  • Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
  • Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
  • Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
  • Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
  • Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
  • Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
  • I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell, you see, I have friends in both places.
  • If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
  • It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts I do understand.
  • It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
  • It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
  • It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
  • It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
  • Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
  • Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
  • Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting up blossoms.
  • Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
  • Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.
  • The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
  • The lack of money is the root of all evil.
  • The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
  • There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one, keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
  • When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
  • Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

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